I love the rain, I always have, it is cleansing and purifying and it is restorative. It makes me stop and just pause. Today I am even more grateful for the rain. I find myself being in a deeper state of gratitude since my sweet Hugh Smith left this world.
It is hard to think of him as past tense because of all the love that surrounded him and still surrounds me. I am so grateful for the amazing support system that we have in place and know that there are other families that are not so fortunate.
As I sat in church today and people hugged me tight, no words needed to be spoken, I could tell by the length and the strength of their hugs. Oddly enough the topic was on Grace and oh how I depend on that never ending, reckless love of God chasing me down and loving me.
Please don’t think that I am not grieving because of my deep level of joy and gratitude. I am grieving as I said in this zig zag, up and down fashion but the joy of having been married to such a kind man is so strong that the peace of it fills in the empty spots.
He loved watching me and listening to me be grateful and never made fun of my ability to just gush with an overtaking gratitude. So for now I have to write about it and share it with you.
Thanks for going on this restorative journey with me where I seem to be able to laugh and cry at the same time. A journey where I can take all this love I have inside that I gave to Hugh and pour it out on you.
with all the love that is in me,