Starbucks Day 1 January 24,2019
Okay here I am….. Lacey told me to come to Starbucks and write……. So what do I write about? The person who is fearless and meets life with boundless enthusiasm and energy is stumped.
Am I kidding myself that I can be a writer? I seem to hit the chord with people with my love notes and notes to Hugh but that is always out of a heaped up within me desire to share what must come out. Now I am clueless as to what I need to share. Or maybe I am just afraid to share.
Right here, Right now I know that I am excited about getting a blog going but paralyzed at the same time. I am also thinking maybe if I just keep quiet and act like I never said I would write a book, people would forget about it. But the problem is they probably would forget, but would I?
Are we able to successfully push aside what is in us trying to burst out and accept an easier softer way so that we do not risk embarrassment and failure. But wait, I love failure, well to be honest I love failing forward. But wait I am about to be 60!!!! What the hell? How did that happen?
One day I am taking my shirt off to play touch footballs with the boys and now I am afraid to take my shirt off!!!! One day I am dreaming about having kids and now I am thinking what the hell was I thinking? I think if anyone knew what their future held they may be far too guarded, way too afraid to take that leap, take chances and just Do it!!!
But on the same thought, my history tells me that though I fail and I get it wrong many times, it usually turns out just right. I think I love the idea of growing and becoming so much that I am willing to risk a little fear, a little unknown. I am willing to lay my heart out there and pray you take it but at the same time know that if you do not, that my gift was in the giving … not in your taking.
I wonder how many writers had a moment at Starbucks just like mine. All I see is there beautiful, glossy book cover, end product,, but I imagine they had many moments that were blank stares and blank pages.
So as I end my first day at Starbucks with my Lacey directed writing session, I will pause and ask God what He wants me to share with you? I want it not to be about me but be about YOU and something that I may say that might make you smile a little and maybe even laugh but mostly say to yourself, I get that… I have felt that way too. I want you to say if she can do it so can I. So can we. And so it is.