Dear Hugh, Thanks for Today’s Gift

Love cures people—- both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.- Karl Menninger

The Very first book you ever gave me was called Today’s Gift and oh my my what a gift Today has been!!! It all started yesterday when I stood in a moment of sadness looking in the mirror and saying to myself… You are gone, you are really gone. I then looked up where my strength comes from and I said, “God take this love I have for Hugh and allow me to pour it out, and I remembered the verse of a song and said… Here am I send me!!!”

 

I had  already started my day by hitting my knees in the very spot that you did and I thanked DAD for the day and for all the good that would come of that day. I also asked him to please show me what the next half of my life looked like? Where does he want me to go…. what gifts does he want me to share? I want it to be the deepest thing that wells up in me and I want to do that!!!

 

You know how you and I talked endlessly about how nature was such an amazing thing and it was all organized and had an order, a divine order. The birds don’t worry they are fed, the grass grows, the rain falls without any fretting or encouragement from us. God has it all mapped out!!! When we get in trouble is when we try to go against that nature, that divine order, that divine gift.

 

Well as life would have it I have seemed to turn the corner of my life and have found the deepest meaning and purpose in my writing and a project that I am working on that you would be so excited about!!!! I can not wait to tell you but want to wait a bit…. but it does stir me, it makes me well up and overflow and my creative and loving energy is going in the way of my divine nature!!!! I am listening and leaning in to the whisper of God and I am so thankful for all the years you and I talked about how important it is to live our lives not for us but for that divine order!!!

 

So as I was having one of the best days of my life, doing what I love to do with whom I love to do it with… it hit me. In a sense I will carry on your back porch ministry!!!!

I will miss you tomorrow, I truly will but I have such big love in my heart for all the things that we learned and lived together. I know that No one has ever loved me and been as kind to me or as encouraging to me as you. Thankfully I remember all that and I carry it with me in my heart of gratitude. I will not be sad tomorrow…. I will look everywhere I go for someone to love and that will be love enough for me.

I can not lament that I no longer have you, I can only celebrate that I did!!!

love love love and more love,

your grateful wife

Karen Key Smith