Captivating purpose, all me!!!

We won’t be distracted by comparison if were captivated with purpose. ~ Bob Goff

Am I the only one that ever falls into this creative killing, soul crushing trap of comparison?   Or do you always measure your success by your past success instead of using others as your measure.  I am typically pretty good at this, notice I said pretty good. I have not arrived at the zenith of this quest to be all me and not want to be a little  more of this shiny attribute I see in others.

This is the deal!!!!  My head knows this stuff but sometimes I look at people and I am thinking of a certain person and she knows who she is. I have a desire to be more of a together person like I think I see in others. I see people who are more organized than I am, I see people who can remember what song they were playing the first time you went to get a charcuterie board and remember all the cheeses and the breads and the and the…..  I see people who make up their bed each day like it is their job, their desk is clean, their car is clean. They remember all their appointments and keep up with all their jewelry and on and on. They follow an outline, yeah right!!!! 

Guess what I am none of those things.  Turns out that is okay and it is better than okay. Turns out that all the things that I have in me are the very things that keep me turning to God for help. They are the  very things that help me reach the people that God places before me. It would be quite a dull world if we all had the same gifts and worse yet we would not need each other and I am pretty sure we would see no need for God either. 

We were in our small group in bible study and one of the brave fellows admitted that he finds himself comparing and looking at where he is in the program compared to where the other fellows are. He knows in his head that they have been there longer and he is comparing something that is not rational or reasonable but the feeling is there.  I was so impressed that he shared this vulnerability and I had to admit that here I sit at age 60 and should know better. But I do it too, if I am not careful.

I will be doing the best I can in my exercise class and I catch a glimpse of the tight abs and firm thighs of the young girl 30 years my younger and for just  a moment, I sigh. I have to remember that we seem to always long for or yearn for something a little better than where we are. That is not so bad if our yearning is to be a better version of ourselves and not a version of someone that we are never meant to be.

I am so thankful when vulnerable humans speak up and remind me of the places in me that I want to keep in check.  I have a great passion to write and to share and to keep being open and honest with my writing. I have to remember that if anything that I say makes life even a tiny bit sweeter then I have done a good day’s work. There is my purpose!!!  It makes my heart sing, real loud. Maybe a little off key but hopefully the message of love is loud enough for all of you to hear!!!

Love being real with you!!!


Ps.  I still want a flat stomach and tight bum but my flat stomach and my flat bum, no one else’s.

Pps. Thanks so much to all my sweet friends that let me know that I am just who I am supposed to be, scatterbrain and all!!!

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