As I write this I am not sure what the title should be!!! I know it is a little people pleasing with a little high achieving with a touch of grandiose expectations. But let me assure that had I picked up the phone and called Jennifer it would have been nipped in the bud but instead I let a week go by.
I let a week go by where I thought I was not doing as well as suspected but then realized that oh my I need to do MORE!!! LIke right now. I let a week go by where I was frustrated with myself because I was not achieving what the numbers on the side of the screen said that I should. Perhaps I should make this a little more clear. As clear as mud as my sweet precious Hugh used to say.
I am thankfully taking charge of my health and my fitness!!! I am no longer accepting OKAY or ORDINARY or its better than most folks. Or this is the best I can do at my age!!! NOPE none of that is working for me not even a little bit!!!
I have done so many things kicking and screaming and doing it my way. I did NOT want to ask for help even though if you had asked me…… the first thing I would have told you is to ask for help. The whole reason any of us are here on this fun planet is to share what we know and how we love so that each of our journeys are a little more free, a little more light!!! So I guess that means me too!!!!
So back to my story that I have no title for!! I started working out with weights 5 weeks ago and it has been glorious and effective and enlightening and so many adjectives to describe how it has impacted me. But this week it has also been frustrating due to a misunderstanding, a lack of clarification and unwillingness to inquire about a solution. Again, partly because I don’t want to bother anyone and partly because I want to be an overachiever and partly because the people pleaser in me is not as cured as I supposed.
Jennifer Burg has this most incredible fitness app as part of the program that I am doing with her. It tells me exactly what I am supposed to do complete with a timer for rest ect. So the first 4 weeks I was so dang proud of myself until I put my glasses on last week and off to the side was a directive on how many pounds I was to lift and how many reps ect. Now keep in mind, Jennifer is available to answer ANY Of my questions as many times as I ask them. And also keep in mind that she explained it to me and also keep in mind she accompanied me one day to make sure I had it all down!!!
Hmm so you say I should lift that much so soon. Well okay I guess that is what people do on their 5th week. Now mind you some of them were doable and I tried. I really did but I realized I was not able to heft that much weight…. Not just yet!!! But hold on, I am coming after you!!!
I continued on all week until today and I finally reached out and asked about that little directive on the side. Jennifer assured me that I was doing things just right and that there should not be anything on the side that tells me what to do. I sent her a text telling her I could not quite lift as much weight as I was supposed to. She assured me that there were no directives and that it was not supposed to be there. Andy better yet, I am killing it!!! (people pleaser loved that part along with overachiever)
So what is the moral of this dang story!!! I hope you picked up on it and if not I will let you know.
How many times do we take erroneous information and judge ourselves based on things that are NOT facts, are NOT real and are NOT for us!!!!???? Seriously I am 63 you should think I would be a master at this by now. All I had to do was make a phone call, heck even easier a quick text. But even better than that, I should know by now that if I am putting forth all the effort and then a little more than those heavier weights are just within reach!!!
What I know is that us humans are a funny bunch. We want to do the right thing for the right reasons. But we many times want to do it quickly, we want to do it just like all the other people do it. Never mind that this little girl at 4 feet nothing may take a little longer to get there. But rest assured I will get there. I will get there if I just keep on doing just one more, just one more rep!!! Just one more healthy meal.
And this is the thing. When I think I am not good enough, I have to remember that my forward motion is more than good enough. I am learning. I am growing. I am becoming stronger in mind, body and spirit.
I am learning to ask for help!!!
I am so thankful for the program that Jenn introduced me to and it has been life changing and life giving and as you can see I am learning some valuable life lessons.
Loving this life!!!! And so very grateful for all of it.
Karen Key Smith
Ps. I hope this made any sense at all. If not I will be talking about it on Happy Ass life this week.
Pps. I finally got a title.