Not sure why but that term a Hot mess often times makes me smile as I think of many of my friends and myself and the times we are an invariable Hot mess!!!! I also love to find out where words and phrases come from since I am an absolute lover of words and their impact and power over our lives!!!
In the early 1800’s a hot mess was simply a hot meal, especially a messy and gloopy one. The term mess hall comes to mind and also those school house cafeterias that served the ultimate mess, sloppy joes. They tasted good as a kid but they were surely messy especially when you dove in to eat them as gracefully as you could.
We could think of a hot mess person to be one that is a disorganized, disheveled or self-destructive person. But typically I smile when I use the term hot mess and I think many of us do. I think we smile because we are usually thinking about someone else’s hot mess and not our own!!!!!HOT MESS is defined in the Urban Dictionary as “When one’s thoughts or appearance are in a state of disarray, but they maintain an undeniable attractiveness or beauty” So today we look at someone that is a hot mess as someone who is somewhat a mess but maintains their life just well enough to be okay!!! I am not sure I want to live just okay!!! No, I am positively and completely sure I want to live beyond my HOT MESS!!
So let’s talk about hot messes and whose hot mess we can control or change. I can ONLY control or change my own HOT MESS!!! I also know that my hot mess may not be your hot mess, but rest assure we all have one. Thankfully in life we can usually find others that are not quite the mess we are in a certain area and bank on getting help in that area. I have also found If a friend is the same HOT MESS as me we may need to expand our friendship sphere.
I have also learned that virtually NOBODY anywhere will change or clean up their HOT MESS if I in my divine wisdom point that mess out. You know the old bible verse we all know very well but don’t apply it very well, the one that says: “Get the board out of your own eye before you point out the speck in your brother’s eye.” In modern day hot mess terms I think that means, “Don’t try to clean up someone else’s hot mess because you need to work on your own hot mess.”Life and mistakes have also taught me that until someone is ready to look at their hot mess, it is best that I let them be. The old term, “Let it begin with me” serves me well in this regard.
So to wrap up this HOT MESS musings, It is my assessment that we are all a hot mess at one time or another and some more than others. I know that I have been called a hot mess on more than 1 or 100 occasions. My best strategy is to keep on trying and working one day at a time to work on changing the only person I can change and that is me. And if I don’t like someone’s mess I can just stay in my own mess hall!!! I am so thankful that I get to live and work surrounded by people who are brilliant and talented and patient and kind and that we love each other many times not in spite of our messes but maybe because of them.
I love you lots and lots,
A happy Hot mess