Dear Hugh, All the wonder!

Hey honey,

Oh, how you would have loved today!!!! Oh, how you would celebrate with me that there is sand all over the floor mixed in with a little salt from the sea and wetsuits hung in the bathroom and on fence post!!!  Warren took the kids surfing for 3 days in a row and I just could not stop grinning at the thought of how proud you would be just watching the wonder of it all. 

You and I shared deeply our love for the beach, the waves, the sand, the smells and all that it represented for our family. I still have the shell that you reached down and handed me on one of our beach runs.  You know I slept with that shell under my pillow for the longest time and just grinned at how God had traded the life I had for a life that any girl would have leaped for joy over. I still at times just shake my head at the miracle of what I was given. The power and the gift of it did not leave with you.

I read something the other day that said, that grief was just the other side of love and I know that it still hits me at the strangest times but still there is mostly joy.  I am so grateful for the life that I have and much of it is because of all that we learned together. Death has no power over a love that has laced its way into all that I am.

If you think today was a wonder, I have got a grand announcement that will have you high fiving Jesus and all the saints of glory….. Wait for it!!! Oh heck you probably already know, I can not keep secrets from you and the big guy.  Sheldon Jernigan has been sober by the grace of God, one day at a time for over a year!!!! And…. This week on January 2nd he graduates from the most amazing Haven House!!!! This is your kind of place. You would give it the Hugh Smith stamp of approval hands down. They are turning these fellows into respectable, honorable sober men!!!

I get to watch families breathe and let their shoulders drop for the first time in forever. WE sure know how that feels. And I think I already told you but Sheldon actually kneels with me and prays with me at our old praying spot!!!!!!  He was actually my prayer warrior in praying that Scotty would go to the Haven house in Tennessee AND HE DID!!!! Yes, I know this is a lot to take in, but he is sober too!!!!

I have so much more to tell you!!!  This has been some kind of year and I have done things I only dreamed of and then I just keep thinking, God you just keep on filling me with the wonder of it all. You liked that about me, my wonder, my enthusiasm and my excitement about life. You will be glad to know that I still have it and It is even deeper now since you are gone. When you see the other side of life, you know that today is a gift a true and rare gift. And if I can not celebrate that then what can I celebrate?

Wait till I tell you who all was at our house Christmas night for chili. You would have totally loved this one. Eddie, gosh it is too hard to call him Ed, Robin, Tj, Kate, Sonja and all the regulars your boys, Erica and Carl. Of course our little ones and Britt and her new husband, Diego, you would adore him. I told Robin how much you thought of her and how much respect you had for them. I think they knew it and of course, TJ knows how much you loved him and always will. Jack is so special and writes so beautifully. He gave me the most adorable HappyAss shirt with my gang name given by TJ, K-Dog on the back. Let me tell you Kate sure keeps that house in line!!!! LOL Piper was there and her antics and as per usual we had dancing by Piper and it gets better and better.

The boys are doing great, your sweet sister checks on me all the time. Jocey and Jett are becoming the most amazing humans, and Piper is still the grand entertainer Sheldon and Scotty quote you all the time. Britt still has a hard time saying your name without crying. She loved that you called her our daughter and you understood her. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been some HUGE unexpected tough challenges that I am walking through lately where someone was deeply dishonest. But you know how you and I stand on that one.  God in charge and he owns all the cattle of all the fields, AND I think if he cares for the sparrow then he truly cares for me.

Night night my precious Moon man!!!

Loving you deeply and forever,

Ka-running 

Ps.  I got a steroid shot today so you know what that means!!! Lots of books will be read tonight

Pps. Did I tell you that Angie Thompson is staying at the beach now quite a bit and we are a huge comfort to each other?

PPPS. Erica and Carl continue to take wonderful loving care of me and they make sure that I am spoiled at Christmas. They took your role in that and I am so thankful, so very thankful. God sent them straight to us!!!