Happiness is amazing, it doesn’t really matter whose it is, yours or someone else’s. Life is wonderful when old men plant trees whose shade they will never sit under. People do good things for other people .the end.!!! ~ quote from After Life a show on Netflix
Oh Hugh, This show makes me so sad but then happy in bits and pieces at the same time. I am watching After Life, a Netflix show about a man who is miserable and lost after his best friend his wife dies. He can not find a reason to live because he misses her so, he is sarcastic and bitter and lashes out at other people. Proving the point that, “Hurt people hurt people.” Don’t worry it gets much better. I know you would love the show and you would laugh and say that you were the guy and I was the girl. She was giddy and he could be melancholy which you know full well, I don’t get that at all.
It has been 22 full moons since you left us, or moved in with dad as a friend pointed out. I know you would love that thought. And it is your favorite number today!!! Lucky 7 and if it was in 2003 you and I would be secretly scheming to run off and get married. By running off I mean down the road to the Methodist church just you and I. I would be just a few days away from wearing that Pink dress I keep in my closet. I would be crying the biggest tears of joy that a girl could cry. I simply could not believe we were finally getting married I could not stop crying through the whole ceremony and I was so thankful it was just you and I..
After we married, even though we waited long enough to do so we both found that marriage was a precious bond. We were so kind to each other. You did things you thought you would never do, like hold a sign at the airport that said, ” I missed you.” You tried to make us a nice Valentine’s night but discovered that was just not your style and just the trying of it was good enough for me. I was happy to sit with you criss-cross apple sauce style on the floor watching, “Whose Smarter than Ben Stein.” We found out that we were not smarter than him, but that did not stop us from trying.
You swore when we started dating that you were not romantic and you did not buy flowers. But you were and you did. Your words were never as lofty as your actions and both were lovely. I have a box of the funniest and the sweetest letters that I am afraid to look at but the memory of them is enough right now.
Hugh, Life is so lovely, and yes it was better with you but I will not trade any of it because if I did I would have to give up all of it. Having you was a gift and because of the unbreakable bond that you and I had, I am able to share stories of your heart. Your heart and your life is still making an impact. I have never met anyone more honorable than you.
Life without you is not easy but I think you would be proud of me, in fact I know you would. I can hear you now cheering me on and telling your friends about my heart and how much you love it. I loved how you thought I was really not human because I was so sweet. Seriously who does that after so many years? You did!!! You were the best husband and I am having a tough time looking at your moon tonight. It is bright like you and I wanted to take a picture of it so I could remember it. I could not capture it. It was not meant to. be captured but rather to be gazed at in wonder.
How has it been 22 moons? I can not count it in months, that just does not work for me.
So I bet you want to know if the guy in the show gets sweeter. He does just like you. Do you remember at first you tried to act like you really did not like me?? Ha Ha, I know that you did but you really did not want to. I guess God knew we were a good match and you ended up thinking so too. We were blessed, weren’t we? When my heart wants to long for a different outcome I think of all the people in the world that would have loved this so I just say thank you, God!!! It is all we can do sometimes, just say thank you.
I have not written. you in a long time but since it is our wedding anniversary month I just had to check in!!! This crazy Covid thing is still going on and it has really changed so much of our world on the outside. But as usual, things that rock our outsides sometimes will firm up our resolve on the inside. I was thinking today, “If we cannont hug people with our arms, let’s hug them with our hearts and that will last longer.”
I was so proud to be your wife and still am!!!
ps. It will not surprise you to know that Jennifer Bowman my Jen Jen gave her kidney to another sweet soul, Melonie Taylor, Yes Brian Taylors wife.
pps. Scotty and Sheldon are sober and working a program of honesty and light!!! Yes i guess you are using your pull up there. Keep it up!!!