I think it is kind of weird given how much I love Nashveeeele that we never came here together. I think it held memories that were part of a world that you left behind and you were content to leave it there. I am back here again and it is a bizarre surreal time. It is also funny how two different places handle the same crisis, here in Nashveeeele they are doing social distancing for the few that are here. I am expecting Batman to bust out of that cool iconic building any minute because the world has been frozen by Dr. Freeze or whoever the guy was.
Our beach is flooded with so many, many humans!!!! As soon as the governor opened the gates I think they were all in a runner’s stance ready to bolt and they did. I know everyone has been pent up and been living a life that none of us ever expected to live. But I was not really wanting to talk about that. All this falls under the Serenity prayer category, something I can do nothing about so I let it go and let God.
Taking trips without you have lost their novelty and it hit me in the heart when I went to Mortons, since it was about the only place open and able to take me. I got there and realized when I could not hop up on the high stool and was placed in the most proper dining room, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I also forgot that I don’t like Lobster Bisque, I want to but I don’t. Kind of like those eggs you cooked me and I choked down. Do you remember that?
When you eat at Mortons they give you a dish big enough to serve your whole family and since I was just one person I realized this was not the place for me. It made me miss you more. But not in a sad way, a smiling way at the happy thoughts of such a sweet precious human loving me, that is hard to forget!!!
Back to the eggs, or rather omelet but it is still an egg by any other name. I hate to tell your secrets but you also did not believe in cooking toast or bacon to go with said egg so I could at least disguise it!! You made a big fluffy omelet and I ate it and it choked going down but there was no way I was going to hurt your feelings. I finally had to when I realized it was all you knew how to cook other than popcorn. I had to swallow and tell you so you would not do it again if we were going to keep doing the thing we were doing.
As I smile as I miss you, I remember that if I had to pick one thing that we were so good at? I guess it was being so kind to each other. I used to tell you that you should teach other men how to treat their wives. You would tell me it was because I was so sweet. Do you remember that fellow that told you that after we were married, I would not be so sweet. You told him quite proudly after so many years that I was sweeter!!! That made you proud and of course me too!!! Oh and one more thing, you always encouraged me to be fully Karen and not hide any of who I was and to be strong and independent and fly as high as I could fly. You enjoyed clapping while I flew. It was actually more fun to fly when you were watching and clapping. I am trying to get my full wings back.
I had a rough patch last week and I had to even call Warren and tell him I was not sure if I was sweet enough in the end. I was so busy caring for you that I think I forgot to love you enough. I think when you start caring for a person as they are leaving you just don’t know what to do. I guess no one does because it is not something we practice for. There were so many things I wish I had asked you, told you, but mostly asked you. I used a lot of your wisdom and the boys do too!!! Heck we all do.
You made such an impact on so many people. It is rare that I go through a week that someone who is still sober and giving it away for fun and for free does not share a sweet loving story with me.
Your boys are doing great!!! My boys are doing great, still sober, still growing. You were so right, all those seeds planted they did not go void, they popped up at just the right time. I wish it had been sooner but that was my time and not God’s and you and I know that is the only real time we can count on. It either all happens in his time or none of it does!!!
Glad to say that homeschooling is a distant memory and I will tell you more about that later. It was about my undoing!!!!
Okay one more thing, you were never a real demonstrative fellow and showed PDA but the one thing that you did that I loved so much, I thought of fondly tonight. When we would eat at a restaurant you would reach across the table and grab my hand and say a sweet quick prayer. I would like one of those right now. Heck I would even eat one of your eggs gladly now. I bet it would taste better than I remember.
I love you so much!!!
Ps. Someone called me sweet Karen the other day and I looked up hoping for a silly second it was you.
pps. See how I spelled Nashveeele like I sounded it out and you made fun of me because I was so southern. Still am. I still say Nashveeele.