Dear Hugh…. God willing

Hey honey,


in the spirit of really being open, honest and real, this day that I should be in grand celebration about is weighing on my heart.  I really thought you and I would celebrate this together and I know how proud you were of me, but you should have been proud of us.  There is no way, no how that I would be where I am without your constant belief in me and your constant and I mean constant cheerleading.

With all the adulations and all the praise and honor that you gave me it would be impossible for me to fail.   I am thinking about you so much right now and I smile when I think of the life lessons we learned together.  I am thinking mostly about how you always followed a statement with God willing.  It was if you were asking God’s guidance and direction on whatever we were doing.  What a gift to be equally yoked with you and our desire to do what God would have us to do with our lives.

One thing that is happening for me right now is I am trying, I mean really trying to be more open and forthright about what I want out of the rest of my life. You know you really think about that when you lose someone and you realize that our time is precious and limited.

So in just a little bit, God willing, we will have a ground breaking ceremony with little pomp and less circumstance, but with lots of love and gratitude.   When you got sick, you asked me if I was going to save an office for you. I knew that the chances of you seeing that office were not much.  I want you to know sweetie, that I am dedicating the whole building to you.  So please look on me today and give me an extra dose of strength for this moment that I envisioned sharing with you.

I know you will be happy that Erwin and the boys are here!!!  We are going to make this event short and sweet and God willing, head to the beach for some fun in the sun with our family!!!  We will use that sweet paddle board you bought us before you left us!!!!  Don’t worry I have reminded others to not put off those kind of things because you really only have today.

Missing you madly today!!!


ps. Do you remember the time that you called me Karen instead of sweetie and I thought you were mad at me. You always called me sweetie, my given name was rarely used. I loved that you thought I was sweet!!


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