Dear Hugh…. where is home now?


Hey Honey,

I had a nice trip  to Maine but it felt so odd because I was not able to call you and tell you I arrived safely and every time the plane landed I was supposed to call you and say I landed safely. And when I was scared about flying for just a moment, I did not have anyone that understood and would tell me that I was going to be all right and that God has it all figured out. I especially did not love walking in the house knowing that you would not be there.

My absolute favorite thing about home is that you were there!!!!!  Now that you are not there I am trying to figure out where home is. I know that when you were here, home was wherever you were. Now I am trying to figure out where is home? What is home? I know that God is home for me and losing you has pushed me head first, fast fashion into the arms of God…. deep into the arms and heart of God. That is where I find my peace, my hope, my view of what the world is without you.

I have sure been able to read a lot of books lately and I sure love that. I also wish I could talk to you about them. I know that we were dorky that way, we loved to discuss the books we read together. But oh how you hated to get a book after I had lots of sunscreen and such on it. Do you remember the time handed back a book of mine and said, ” I am so sorry sweetie but this book is a little too gross and nasty for me to read!!!”  LOL. You were always so much neater than me.

By the way I have relapsed on making the bed and keeping the room clean. I think oh my I hope Hugh does not see what a mess I am. But the cool thing is that you loved me mess and all!!

I know it sounds like that I am nothing but sadness right now, I really am okay but I am trying to find my way and my full revelation of what home is now.  I do believe that as I wrestle with my life without you  I am forced to be still and figure out the direction  of  the rest of this precious life that God has graced me with. I know I want to love more deeply, be more grateful, be more hopeful, love more people, help more people, bless more people. I want to really do what I was put here to do and as you always said, God willing I will figure that out.

The year of life , Hughless  is upon us and I had no idea what a journey this would be. I have not done it alone and I have not done it without great love so for that I am  grateful and would not trade this life, all of it for anything else.

Hey tell Dad, that I so enjoyed that beautiful driving rain storm this morning. My flowers and my soul love it so much. I guess home is still home and God is here so we will figure it out together!!!

Loving you and so thankful for the gift of you!!

Ka-still running and running and running

ps. I still say, It is time to do the skedaddle and I always think of you when I say it

pss.  You will be so glad that Gary is always at the monthly meeting!!!!  I always remember how much you loved it!!!

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