I know that others may not understand why I rejoice today rather than sit in my grief ad missing you. Today will always be a special day because God welcomed you home on the most beautiful full blood moon ever. You knew you were going, we all knew you were going. We had a most blessed life with you.
When I see people that knew you they always have a story of wonder to tell. They tell of how you sat with them in their darkest hours and you held their hands and prayed and cried. They tell of how you shared the most intimate and dark parts of your story so that perhaps their story would have a better ending. They tell of how you knew of this amazing higher power that you called DAD, who had orchestrated every single part of our lives from the smallest event to the biggest of celebrations. The beginning, the end and all parts in-between. All the hard lessons that helped us to love each other more, feel more deeply and care for his kids.
I woke up today and I smiled and I said, “Good morning God, I thank you for another new day”. I of course went for my coffee and I noticed that the dishwasher was loaded properly!! WE both know that was not me, you know that I could not load a dishwasher if you paid me big bucks. I lacked that skill. Scotty must have loaded because it looked like you did it!!! That made me smile because you loved to make happy fun of me for my lack of domestic abilities.
The Garden is so lovely and you would just love it!!! The grass that you chose is lush and full and green. The life you gave me with your unending love is full!! It is so full that I have taken the love I had for you and I am pouring it out on others, especially those in prison and those that are hurting. You and I would talk about this till the wee hours of the morn. If you had been at the prison celebration yesterday you would have held me as I sobbed for the glory in the change of these men. My shoulders shook, my tears were endless and my heart was overflowing. I know I FEEL really BIG and you loved that about me and I appreciated that so much.
Today is a good day. It is God’s day. It is a day that I can use to love and to cherish each moment. I will go walk barefoot in that thik grass and think of you. I thank God every single day that I had the years I had with you. I will never ask God why he chose to take you only that he loved me enough to let you be my best friend for the time that he did.
I adore you still!!!!!
ps. We are going to eat Mexican food tonight!!! “You would tell me oh I am so jealous!!! Bring me back some really hot salsa”.
pps. Yesterday one of the inmates said it takes more strength and power for a rebirth than birth!!! I thought that was powerful!!! You know all about that.