Dear Happy Asses,
First of all, if you’ve known me for about five minutes, you probably already know the philosophy at my company:
“The only people we have to get even with are those who have helped us.”
Now, that might sound like I’m a scorekeeper, but that is never my intent. My heart in this is simple: I want to keep track so I can show over-the-top gratitude for all that I’ve been given. What I never want to do is keep score of what I’ve done for others and expect something in return. True gifts—whether time, money, love, or anything in between are always freely given.
John Maxwell once told a story from his early ministry. A precious man and his wife would often take John and Margaret out to dinner when they barely had two nickels to rub together. This couple was so generous with their time, their kindness, and their resources. Naturally, John and Margaret were deeply grateful, and I imagine they thought this man was simply passing along the blessings he himself had received earlier in life.
One day, John was offered a new opportunity in another congregation. Excited, he shared the news with his benevolent friend. To his surprise, the man looked hurt and said, “After all I’ve done for you, you’re going to leave?”
Ouch. Even to hear that story now makes me wince, it feels like hearing a parent scold a child harshly in the grocery store. My first thought is, “Oh, I’d never do that!” But then… have I? Would I?
It is always easier to see wrong in others than to turn the mirror back on myself. In theory and most of the time in practice, when someone leaves my organization, I bless them as they go just as I blessed them when they came. Although, I’ll be honest if I’m not careful, I can start to look at my invisible scorecard.
What an exhausting, soul-sucking way to live.
The law of reciprocity tells me that to live my best life, I must serve and give with no thought of return. Thankfully, I’ve lived long enough to see that this law is ironclad, it always proves true. A life well-lived isn’t about keeping score. It’s about creating real value in the lives of others with no expectation of payback.
The beautiful surprise is that the goodness always does come back, but never in the ways or places you expect. Every time I pour into others, I’m filled with hope. I become a better version of me and my little corner of the world gets brighter, too.
John admitted that his friend’s reaction hurt him deeply, and it took time to heal. However, if you’ve followed John Maxwell, like I have, you’ll see he has built a life of generosity, service, and non-judgment toward all of God’s children. That moment didn’t stop him. If anything, it grew him.
I know the same is true for me.
So I’m excited, I cannot wait to see just how many people I can “get even with.” Not by keeping score, but by pouring out gratitude and creating good. I can be confident knowing that every time I choose to love, serve, and give freely… the boomerang of goodness always finds its way back home.
I sure do love all of you and am so thankful for you!!!! The idea that you love me enough to read what I write and to listen to my podcast just makes my heart overflow!!! I really do want to live my life out of that overflow and take all of you with me.
Loving you dearly and completely!!!
Karen Key Smith
