Dear Happy Asses,
I do this little thing called Outfit of the Day, and I really enjoy it. It seems that a lot of others enjoy it too. I know I like seeing what other people are wearing—it’s fun, it gives me ideas, and all that jazz.
Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend and confidently telling her that she should never worry about what some internet troll has to say. Especially the critical feedback from keyboard warriors. (I’ve always wanted to use that phrase, so there’s that.) I was very adamant that there is no reason to let one person’s bad attitude—or lack of grace—spill onto you. It’s always easier to tell others what we know we should do ourselves… and I caught myself doing just that.
I’ve shared before that I possess something I call reverse paranoia. For the most part, I believe everyone is out to help me. I expect it. I live that way most of the time. But recently, I found myself impacted by some unkind and unnecessary words on one of my posts.
I would love to tell you that it didn’t affect me—that I carried on as my usual happy-go-lucky self, posting away in merriment. But I didn’t. I found myself holding back.
So let me tell you about the words. They came from someone I actually know—someone who is known for saying whatever pops into her head without much of a filter. Keep in mind, I’m already a little self-conscious of you women who seem to have it all together—whose sinks are shiny with no day-old dishes and whose floors are swept and mopped. (Ha! I don’t even know where my mop is right now, and that’s another thing I’m working on.)
After all the sweet messages—You are so darling, I love that outfit, Where did you get it?—she typed out:
“Why is your room always such a mess?”
Hmm. Well, it’s not always a mess… but yes, I can get messy. And then I stopped posting.
Did I stop because of her words?
Did I stop because the holidays were busy?
I think, perhaps consciously or not, I paused. I stopped.
The truth is, far more people were kind and encouraging. And I suspect a few of my more “messy” friends probably smiled and felt relieved that they weren’t alone. Because the truth is—I can be a mess. But I’m a happy mess. A joyful mess. A loving mess. And I am surrounded by proof that my life is filled with more than I need and all that I want.
I’m also reminded that that old childhood chant couldn’t be further from the truth. Words do hurt—but they can help, too.
So let this season and this year remind us to choose our words with care. To treat each person with the most tender love and grace—and to start with our words.
As for me, I’m back to posting my outfits that I enjoy creating. Sometimes my bed will be made, and sometimes it won’t. But at all times, I pray that I’m intentional with my words—toward myself and toward others.
I am excited for a new year and for all of you. Thank you so much for loving this little messy, happy, and very hopeful Happy Ass.
Grateful,
Karen
