Dear Happy Asses,
“I went behind barbed wire to share love… and walked out with more love than I brought.”
— Karen Key Smith
Big Love Behind Barbed Wire
This one is a little different, because the lessons from the inside really do come from the inside. The inside is barbed-wire fences, limited movement, guards, and little contact with the regular world.
Years ago, after my sweet Hugh passed away, I knelt beside my bed as we usually did together and asked God what He would have me do with this love that I could no longer pour out on Hugh. I was not worried about not being loved, but more concerned about where all this big love would go.
Now, He did not boom a loud voice to me, and I did not have a burning bush moment, but I did very clearly hear God’s kind and compassionate whisper in my soul. I was led to join a couple of friends in their mission to share my heart with the men at South Walton Correctional Facility just past DeFuniak Springs.
So after getting all my clearance and gathering up my nerve, I joined my friends Erica and Libby in ministering to the inmates. There were so very many of them! But to all of them, I became Ya Ya very quickly.
My new friends loved to tease me about my cold brew obsession at the time and laugh with me when I couldn’t see over the podium. They never tired of hearing my silly confessions of my disorganized, flighty self. They were attentive when I taught them and were the most enthusiastic participants in what I called our holler-back affirmations. They loved to introduce me to their family members on visitors’ day as their Ya Ya.
I spent more time crying and rejoicing over small and big victories, but my heart was also broken knowing that most of these men were either there for life or caught in a revolving door in and out. They had adopted a way of life shaped by bad choices, horrible environments, or simply an inability to adapt to a world that, quite frankly, most times did not want them in it.
I taught The Happiness Project for many years and also helped lead Global Leadership inside the prison walls in Walton County and beyond. Just as a side note, one day the program started an hour late, and I was tasked with entertaining a group of about 250 men I had just met! I know God replaced me with Himself that day, because all I remember is sobbing most of the way home—not from sadness, but from gratitude that God took me where I did not really want to go and showed me exactly why I was there.
So now for the lesson I promised up front.
This week I had the most wonderful surprise when Michael walked into my office. Michael had been in and out for a total of 20 years and was not free the last time I saw him. For the first time, I was able to hug him with my arms and not just my heart.
I was able to see what happens when a man decides to turn his life around on the inside and be part of a program of character. A man who is now working and being a positive influence in the lives of others. A man who has been reunited with his son after ten long years of silence and will attend his wedding.
Michael entered a program at WCI called Re-Entry, a program piloted and run by a wonderful man named Jack Smith.
Jack Smith did not see inmates. He saw men in need of hope and direction. He knew that if he could teach character on the inside, they could become men of value on the outside. Many of the men I taught never made it to the outside, but they learned to be an example and a light to those still inside.
One such man told me one day,
“Ya Ya, I may have a life sentence, but I don’t have to have a wasted life sentence.”
I have never forgotten that. It haunts me sometimes when I think about the fact that I am totally free—and what am I doing with this totally free and wonderful life to help my fellow man? That is my question. Always.
So when Michael walked into my office, all smiles and gratitude, I was reminded that the whole point of this wild and beautiful life is to be a blessing to others.
We all have done—or will do—things we are not so proud of, so my call, my sweet Creator’s call, is to walk justly, love mercy, and be kind to all of God’s kids… because we are all God’s kids.
Funny thing is, I went to WCI to share love and walked out with way more love than I brought.
Real life is that way if you let it.
Grateful,
Karen Key Smith
P.S. To this day, I use holler-back affirmations when I speak, and I always notice something that stops me in my tracks: the loudest, most joyful holler-backs I ever received were from men who were not free. They were so happy to proclaim something wonderful and to believe that God was listening—and that He loved them. Because He did. And He does.
And He loves us too… so hopefully we will be mostly concerned with sharing that BIG love with others.
