Dear Happy Asses,
I have a core memory as a little girl watching Johnny Carson and other late-night shows, hearing comedians slam Jersey — especially Newark. There was always an emphasis on how opposite they were from us folks in the South. Not just the accent, but the idea that courteousness somehow didn’t live there.
And for a long time, I carried that notion of Jersey… until my daughter moved there. Then a son. And then a grandson.
Over the years, I’ve had the great opportunity to spend a lot of time in the Garden State — and who knew?! The people making fun of Jersey never mentioned the gorgeous greenery and foliage that earned it that nickname. They also never talked about the amazing school system in Red Bank that was ready for a grandson who was different, who learned differently, and who needed a different kind of education.
They never mentioned all the precious boroughs bumping up against one another, each with their own authentic styles, dialects, and cultures — people from all over, living side by side. There was so much beauty and so much eclectic charm… but I never would have known any of it until I actually went there.
I also have fond memories of how delighted the Jersey folks were to hear my accent — especially how many syllables I used in the word y’all. I love that we are all different. It’s fun to recognize and enjoy those differences, and it’s okay to laugh a little at ourselves along the way.
I was reminded of all this when I met Amy’s folks. Mark and Miriam — what delightful people. It was easy to see why Amy is so amazing. She has that tough New Jersey girl spirit paired with a big, open, expansive, loving heart.
I think we humans make assumptions about people, places, and cultures we’ve never really explored. I’m reminded that it’s hard to hold onto judgment when you get close enough to truly know someone. While I never hated Jersey folks — or anyone, for that matter — I certainly didn’t understand them until I experienced them.
And I imagine there are many other parts of my life and my world that will only make sense once I explore them up close. Once I love them close up. That’s where the wonder of being human really lives.
More and more, we’re tempted to be labeled and divided — Republicans, Democrats, Southerners, Northerners, Christians, non-Christians. But in the end, we’re just humans with stories, values, and lived experiences. We can learn from one another. We can love one another in our differences. And maybe even laugh a little and wonder why it took us so long to get to know our neighbors — near and far.
I want to spend the rest of my life learning how to accept and love my fellow man, no matter where they live or how we differ. And I love that I get to practice that regularly with all of you — my beautifully diverse, happy asses.
Grateful to y’all,
Karen Key Smith
